Post by kassandra on Jun 14, 2005 4:37:40 GMT -5
Story Name:
Rating:
Summary:
Mentions of Cutting, I'm not always this depressed, but something bad happenned recently and this was written, and it was the easiest to find...
Tears of Blood
Sometimes it all seems too much, like I can’t hold on any longer, that I am drowning and there is no one here to hold my head above water. Sometimes it feels like I am slipping away, that bit by bit I’m leaving me behind and that I am becoming some other person, some one who doesn’t care about her life, someone who could give it up without a thought.
Sometimes I will cry, and I will carry on crying for a long time, till I can cry no more, and that helps, but only for a short time. But to see my blood, to feel my mental pain manifest its self on a physical level, that brings me the release I so long for.
It gets harder though, each day it gets harder. There are people in my life I am getting close to, for once in my life I am allowing people to get close to me. But soon it will be too much.
Already I try to push them away, already I feel trapped by my reliance on them. Already I am pushing myself away from them, creating petty arguments, finding the smallest criticism, making pregnant dogy comments and looking for a fight. And one day they won’t bother any more and they will turn away from me, leave me to live my life, and while I may cry at the start, deep down I will be happy.
But still I will crave the feeling of the cool blade slipping beneath my skin, severing nerves and veins and arteries, bringing my blood to the surface. I can’t cope, not with happiness, or pain, or anger, or love, or lust, or hate.
My emotions are too much, I am slipping away. I drown in them, and there is no one to hold my head above the water. I am leaving me behind and soon I will give up my life without a second though. But for now I cry my tears of blood.
Rating:
Summary:
Mentions of Cutting, I'm not always this depressed, but something bad happenned recently and this was written, and it was the easiest to find...
Tears of Blood
Sometimes it all seems too much, like I can’t hold on any longer, that I am drowning and there is no one here to hold my head above water. Sometimes it feels like I am slipping away, that bit by bit I’m leaving me behind and that I am becoming some other person, some one who doesn’t care about her life, someone who could give it up without a thought.
Sometimes I will cry, and I will carry on crying for a long time, till I can cry no more, and that helps, but only for a short time. But to see my blood, to feel my mental pain manifest its self on a physical level, that brings me the release I so long for.
It gets harder though, each day it gets harder. There are people in my life I am getting close to, for once in my life I am allowing people to get close to me. But soon it will be too much.
Already I try to push them away, already I feel trapped by my reliance on them. Already I am pushing myself away from them, creating petty arguments, finding the smallest criticism, making pregnant dogy comments and looking for a fight. And one day they won’t bother any more and they will turn away from me, leave me to live my life, and while I may cry at the start, deep down I will be happy.
But still I will crave the feeling of the cool blade slipping beneath my skin, severing nerves and veins and arteries, bringing my blood to the surface. I can’t cope, not with happiness, or pain, or anger, or love, or lust, or hate.
My emotions are too much, I am slipping away. I drown in them, and there is no one to hold my head above the water. I am leaving me behind and soon I will give up my life without a second though. But for now I cry my tears of blood.